Selfish is just an “ish”

T’is the season… for the hustle, bustle and transitions. Sweaters exchanged for shorts and swim suits, quieter days busied with kids home from school and college.  Rhythmic days and evenings create space for vacations, graduations and family visiting.

In this season, it is easy to get lost and shift our focus to what everyone else needs or wants of us.  Our self care, our routines, often even our boundaries sail away like a cap tossed off the head of our graduates.

T’is the season for so much emotion, but I would also offer that there is room for being selfish.  I know, you are bristling at the thought of being called selfish, but give me a moment to consider with you.  Selfish is just self with an “ish.”

When we are selfish, we pour into ourselves, declare and pursue our own needs, and fill our own cups to abundance.  From that space our having an abundantly full cup, we can pour into others from a place of love, desire and true giving.

When, however, we give from a place of constantly pouring out without also replenishing, we become depleted and often resentful of what we are doing and even who we are doing it for.  We give from an empty cup that cracks and chips.  It is then impossible to actually truly give.

Pouring into ourselves - going to the gym, the walk, the massage or just sitting alone with a cup of coffee or however you recharge may be labeled selfish, but I would argue, necessary. You are taking care of self and “ish” is just along for the ride.

Putting yourself first, allows you to give from the cream on top of your cup, not the grounds at the bottom. Being selfish is actually how we create the ability to be selfless and leave resentment out of our relationships.

I wish for you the ability to be selfish so you can be selfless and the understanding that you worth putting yourself first.

Happy belated Mothers Day, congratulations on your graduate if you have one, and the happiest of Memorial Days remembering those who gave so much.